Sometimes it's just easier to walk away, make a clean break from it all. Just pack up and leave. Some call it running away from the problem at hand, I call it being sick and tired of dealing with the same bull shit. Sometimes I get so down and feel so bad about myself that I honestly question my own value and self-worth in this world, and it's times like these that I really wonder why I was even brought into existence. Sure, I know the logistics of it -- mommy and daddy screwed up and got pregnant. No, that's not what I'm referring to. I mean, why did God bring me to be?
What is His purpose for me here? Why does He not pull me out of this slump and into something better? Why do I have to continue to suffer the consequences of a sick and bi-polar mind time and time again? Why can't I get peace and happiness? Why can't I seem to find my own happiness? Why have I always had to rely on someone else to lift me up and make me feel better about myself? Why can't I find true happiness within, and will I ever stop leaning on others or will I just find another to lean on?
My kids deserve better than a crazy mom. They're better than that. I feel so bad for them for having to put up with my sickness. Sometimes I honestly believe I should have been committed. Sometimes I feel as if they will always suffer just for being mine. Why am I feeling this way? How can ONE single person, who I really shouldn't give a flying fuck about anyway, make me feel all of this? I mean, if I'm so fucking worthless and disposable to them, then how can they make me feel so fucking low? It doesn't make any sense! It's stupid! It's actually quite pathetic.
There, I said it: I'm pathetic. I'm sick. I need help. I'm my own worst enemy tonight and I didn't have enough alcohol to kill the ill feelings. Maybe I can try again tomorrow night. I was a whole lot happier when I was drowning myself in booze and hiding from my pain. I was numb back then. I didn't feel. I was blissful. It was AWESOME!
So, I talked about moving away from Chris tonight, because I honestly think we are both unhealthy for each other to be around and he gets this attitude about me moving with Ayanna. Wow -- So, I never said visitation was out of the question!!! I never even implied that he wouldn't be able to see her. He just assumed that because I can't be around him that I wouldn't let him be around her. No, I'd actually encourage him to see her, and as often as he possibly could. But, he wanna blow things out of proportion. Typical man only hearing half of what is said and none of what is pertinent. Oh well, he's pissy now, and I'm over it.
As for plans for the future, I know I need to get out of this area - away from him, and start living MY life. I need to do for me and stop worrying about what's in the best interest of the kids, myself, AND him... I worry about that shit way too damn much, and it has to stop somewhere. So, from this point forward I'm planning - I'm planning a future for both me and my children and no longer concerning myself with how anyone else is affected by my choices. It's all about us now; the kids and I.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
I really want to work... BUT everything's against me!
I have been handed some great job opportunities lately, but due to lack of child care or transportation, have had to turn them down. I am going tomorrow to talk to a guy about working in his tax office, since I pretty much blew my chances of working with Liberty Tax, and he is paying GREAT. So, here's the problem... Chris is bringing Ayanna back on Saturday in his aunt's car, but has to take her car back to her that same day. I could easily take the bus there to work, but getting Ayanna and Noah somewhere for someone to watch them is next to impossible on the bus both ways... I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I am just not supposed to be working at this moment. I mean, if I was supposed to do it, Chris would be here to watch the kids so I could, right? And as for now, he's going back to his grandparents to wait on a guy to finish fixing his car so he can bring it back here. No telling WHEN that'll be... UGH. FML!
I want to work SO bad, and this man's pay scale, while it is strictly commission, it's AWESOME! 40% of the fees would be mine... and average fee is $200... Hmm... you do the math. I feel so helpless right now. And forget daycare vouchers through DSS... You have to already be working for them to do issue those. UGH. This really sucks.
Any ideas? I'm open to suggestions!
I want to work SO bad, and this man's pay scale, while it is strictly commission, it's AWESOME! 40% of the fees would be mine... and average fee is $200... Hmm... you do the math. I feel so helpless right now. And forget daycare vouchers through DSS... You have to already be working for them to do issue those. UGH. This really sucks.
Any ideas? I'm open to suggestions!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I'm like tissue paper right now!
Strange blog title -- perhaps I should write the blog THEN give it a title? Nah, that wouldn't be any fun! lol. Seriously, though, allow me to explain the title. I know you've heard people talking about being stretched so thin... Well, I'm stretched so thin that one tiny drop of water (or, one more thing happens) and I'll start to rip apart. See? It wasn't so crazy after all! lol
I'm so sick of being taken advantage of. I say that I'll help you (not you, per se, just saying 'you' to avoid using person's name in here) and I will. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you have what you need, that you are happy, that YOUR needs are met, above mine. Not above my children's - sorry, that just won't happen. But I sacrifice, and give, and sacrifice, and give... Oh, and did I mention sacrificing and giving?! You get the point. And in return, you want to question me, question where MY money goes? MFer it goes in YOUR damn pockets (or to YOUR bills and debt, or to get YOUR ish out the pawn shop, buy YOUR ish at the store)... If I buy myself something with MY money, FUCK OFF! It's MY money to begin with, and last time I checked, YOU don't pay any bills where I live. That's right, you don't pay my lights, my water, my gas, OR my rent. So back the fuck up, realize who you're snapping at, and step the fuck away.
I'm so tired of being used. I can't help but pay my bills. Ok so maybe I could help but let YOU live rent free, but I'm not the kind of person to let someone live on the streets. I'll keep ya ass in the house just to make sure you ok. But I'll be damn if you gonna sit up here and piss away $300 in ONE WEEK on what? hmm... NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT! And then come back and question ME?! You got it twisted.Meantime, during that week, you used $140.00 of my money?!?!?!?!? Why!? Because you spent yours on... hmm... I could account for MAYBE $150 - I mean you did have to get diapers, formula, cigs, and... you said you had to buy food, but where you're at you didn't need to buy no damn food -- whatever. I could see pissing away $150, and that's being REALLY generous... Then there's the gas money you had to give ppl to get you to the yard (twice)... Ok... even if the gas IS $3something a gallon... there's another $60 or 70. Follow along with your calculator. That's NOT $300... The way I see it, you pissed away an EXTRA $80?? More than that, really, cuz I was being VERY generous on the diapers/wipes/cigs/food budget... Hell, more like $130. So, give ME the damn $130 every week, and I'll save it. For your next apartment for when I finally get tired of being used and kick your ass to the curb. Then I know you'll have the money you need to move out, instead of some new high-tech gadget you bought on Amazon.com or off craigslist that don't even work - much like you have not worked in the last year and a half. Aww -- did that hurt your feelings? Was I being mean?
Do you think I give two shits after the way you've been treating me lately? Not really. Sorry, but I don't. Grow up! You just had your 28th b-day, for goodness sake! Come on, dude... So, school didn't work out this semester... GET YA ASS A JOB! I'm tired of trying to make things work, trying to pay all the bills, trying to take care of 2 kids on my own -- well, that last one, I got that. Although that's about ALL you help me with. Give me a damn break. Start chipping on, or do us both a favor and move. We both know you bringing me down financially, which is taking its toll mentally. Give me some help, or give me some peace!
I'm so sick of being taken advantage of. I say that I'll help you (not you, per se, just saying 'you' to avoid using person's name in here) and I will. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you have what you need, that you are happy, that YOUR needs are met, above mine. Not above my children's - sorry, that just won't happen. But I sacrifice, and give, and sacrifice, and give... Oh, and did I mention sacrificing and giving?! You get the point. And in return, you want to question me, question where MY money goes? MFer it goes in YOUR damn pockets (or to YOUR bills and debt, or to get YOUR ish out the pawn shop, buy YOUR ish at the store)... If I buy myself something with MY money, FUCK OFF! It's MY money to begin with, and last time I checked, YOU don't pay any bills where I live. That's right, you don't pay my lights, my water, my gas, OR my rent. So back the fuck up, realize who you're snapping at, and step the fuck away.
I'm so tired of being used. I can't help but pay my bills. Ok so maybe I could help but let YOU live rent free, but I'm not the kind of person to let someone live on the streets. I'll keep ya ass in the house just to make sure you ok. But I'll be damn if you gonna sit up here and piss away $300 in ONE WEEK on what? hmm... NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT! And then come back and question ME?! You got it twisted.Meantime, during that week, you used $140.00 of my money?!?!?!?!? Why!? Because you spent yours on... hmm... I could account for MAYBE $150 - I mean you did have to get diapers, formula, cigs, and... you said you had to buy food, but where you're at you didn't need to buy no damn food -- whatever. I could see pissing away $150, and that's being REALLY generous... Then there's the gas money you had to give ppl to get you to the yard (twice)... Ok... even if the gas IS $3something a gallon... there's another $60 or 70. Follow along with your calculator. That's NOT $300... The way I see it, you pissed away an EXTRA $80?? More than that, really, cuz I was being VERY generous on the diapers/wipes/cigs/food budget... Hell, more like $130. So, give ME the damn $130 every week, and I'll save it. For your next apartment for when I finally get tired of being used and kick your ass to the curb. Then I know you'll have the money you need to move out, instead of some new high-tech gadget you bought on Amazon.com or off craigslist that don't even work - much like you have not worked in the last year and a half. Aww -- did that hurt your feelings? Was I being mean?
Do you think I give two shits after the way you've been treating me lately? Not really. Sorry, but I don't. Grow up! You just had your 28th b-day, for goodness sake! Come on, dude... So, school didn't work out this semester... GET YA ASS A JOB! I'm tired of trying to make things work, trying to pay all the bills, trying to take care of 2 kids on my own -- well, that last one, I got that. Although that's about ALL you help me with. Give me a damn break. Start chipping on, or do us both a favor and move. We both know you bringing me down financially, which is taking its toll mentally. Give me some help, or give me some peace!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
What to do... what to do...
I need to do something with my life. Something that I will feel valued and appreciated. Customer service is cool, and all, but I just don't see the real redeeming value in that. I want a career path that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Something where I know that I am truly making a difference in some one's life...
I enjoy factory work, and working in call centers, but it just has no real purpose in it for me. I do not enjoy working in the medical field. I get too attached, and I think it's important to keep a safe and healthy distance from patients, so this is NOT where I'll be looking.
What I'm thinking is some sort of counseling. I have always said that if you want to counsel someone through something, you have to have been there, done that, and made it through the experience successfully to be able to help someone else. So, that leads me to the things I've successfully encountered in my lifetime. I've overcome addictions, I've placed a child - well, TWO children - for adoption with two totally different circumstances, I have been homeless, I have been a rowdy teenager with a lot of angst and self-loathing, I have been suicidal, I have been raped 3 times, I have had sever mental health issues, I have been pregnant and considered abortion just to realize that I'm too pro-life to do that, I have raised kids as a single mom, I have been unemployed and under employed, I have faced life's many obstacles, and can still wake up each day with a smile on my face, and look forward to another day and another chance to help someone else out... Does this make me crazy? Probably! But, I'll take it and turn it into a career if I can! lol.
I was also thinking about social work, but have heard so many cons about this career field. Under paid and under appreciated. I want to make a difference, but seeing as how social workers are governed by so many bureaucracies and have to follow all the proper procedures, rules, and regulations, then this may not be what I want to do.
What about therapy? Noah gets physical, occupational, and speech therapy, and I adore his therapists, and LOVE seeing the joy in their eyes as his skills improve and progress. I would love to experience this same joy each and every day with my little patients. Speech therapy would be neat, since I was born 50% deaf. But, I love the physical therapy, too. I think I might get a little more frustrated with speech therapy then I would with occupational or physical.
Then there's writing or editing. I'm a stickler for proper grammar and good spelling, and even as far back as high school, I was helping friends by editing their essays. How much school would this require, and is there a real need for editors these days? I mean, most decent PCs, websites, and MS Office have built-in spell check and even have added grammar checks, now, too! But, alas, writing is, and probably always will be, a private passion of mine. I long to be as inspired and motivated as L.M. Stull, who works a full-time job, and still has time to work on her masterpiece novel in her down time - she has no kids! lol.
And, there is one more career path I would love to follow, though not as personally rewarding as the top three, or as heavy of a passion as my fourth choice here... I LOVE DIY shows. I am a DIY fanatic. I would love to build a house from the ground up, do something constructive that starts out so destructive like a renovation project - Is Extreme Makeover Home Edition looking for new personalities to join them? lol. I love everything from building to interior design. I love that guy on TV... what's his name? Oh, yes, Bob Villa! I used to watch him in high school, and the HG TV channel, you know, back when I could afford cable! lol.
So, there you have it, folks... My top 5 career choices. Help me narrow this down. Comment on this blog, and let me know what it is YOU see me doing. Maybe you have a 6th. 7th, or even an 8th option that I haven't explored yet that you think would be more fitting? I'm open to suggestions and am also considering going back to school, too, so nothing you can say will be too far out of reach at this point. I just need some guidance, and thought to seek it from those who know me best.
I enjoy factory work, and working in call centers, but it just has no real purpose in it for me. I do not enjoy working in the medical field. I get too attached, and I think it's important to keep a safe and healthy distance from patients, so this is NOT where I'll be looking.
What I'm thinking is some sort of counseling. I have always said that if you want to counsel someone through something, you have to have been there, done that, and made it through the experience successfully to be able to help someone else. So, that leads me to the things I've successfully encountered in my lifetime. I've overcome addictions, I've placed a child - well, TWO children - for adoption with two totally different circumstances, I have been homeless, I have been a rowdy teenager with a lot of angst and self-loathing, I have been suicidal, I have been raped 3 times, I have had sever mental health issues, I have been pregnant and considered abortion just to realize that I'm too pro-life to do that, I have raised kids as a single mom, I have been unemployed and under employed, I have faced life's many obstacles, and can still wake up each day with a smile on my face, and look forward to another day and another chance to help someone else out... Does this make me crazy? Probably! But, I'll take it and turn it into a career if I can! lol.
I was also thinking about social work, but have heard so many cons about this career field. Under paid and under appreciated. I want to make a difference, but seeing as how social workers are governed by so many bureaucracies and have to follow all the proper procedures, rules, and regulations, then this may not be what I want to do.
What about therapy? Noah gets physical, occupational, and speech therapy, and I adore his therapists, and LOVE seeing the joy in their eyes as his skills improve and progress. I would love to experience this same joy each and every day with my little patients. Speech therapy would be neat, since I was born 50% deaf. But, I love the physical therapy, too. I think I might get a little more frustrated with speech therapy then I would with occupational or physical.
Then there's writing or editing. I'm a stickler for proper grammar and good spelling, and even as far back as high school, I was helping friends by editing their essays. How much school would this require, and is there a real need for editors these days? I mean, most decent PCs, websites, and MS Office have built-in spell check and even have added grammar checks, now, too! But, alas, writing is, and probably always will be, a private passion of mine. I long to be as inspired and motivated as L.M. Stull, who works a full-time job, and still has time to work on her masterpiece novel in her down time - she has no kids! lol.
And, there is one more career path I would love to follow, though not as personally rewarding as the top three, or as heavy of a passion as my fourth choice here... I LOVE DIY shows. I am a DIY fanatic. I would love to build a house from the ground up, do something constructive that starts out so destructive like a renovation project - Is Extreme Makeover Home Edition looking for new personalities to join them? lol. I love everything from building to interior design. I love that guy on TV... what's his name? Oh, yes, Bob Villa! I used to watch him in high school, and the HG TV channel, you know, back when I could afford cable! lol.
So, there you have it, folks... My top 5 career choices. Help me narrow this down. Comment on this blog, and let me know what it is YOU see me doing. Maybe you have a 6th. 7th, or even an 8th option that I haven't explored yet that you think would be more fitting? I'm open to suggestions and am also considering going back to school, too, so nothing you can say will be too far out of reach at this point. I just need some guidance, and thought to seek it from those who know me best.
A mother's super powers
After reading my friend Minita's blog, I was inspired to detail the top ten super powers a mom possesses. Here goes:
10. The amazing hug: A mom can cure anything from a bump on the head to a common cold or stomach flu with a simple, warm hug.
9. The 12-armed creature: A mom seems to have 100 different things that she needs to carry in from a trip to the store, and can somehow manage to get it all inside with just one trip!
8. The awesome toy fixer: Mom's all know how to repair a broken toy, because when we buy it, or when a friend or family member gives it to our children, we spend hours reading and memorizing the owner's manuals. We can do anything from changing the batteries to using super glue to fix a broken something they've stepped on.
7. We can cure hunger: Children have bottomless pits for stomachs, and us moms know how to get in the kitchen and whip up a quick cure for their grumbling little tummies! We have become masters of the ten minute meals.
6. Super noses: Mom's can smell strange things and sniff around just the right spots to find that dirty diaper we swore we threw out with the trash, or that left-over casserole in the back of the fridge like no other!
5. Cleaning machines: A mom can somehow keep the kids, the kitchen and the bathroom all clean and ready for company and the uninvited drop-in guests. And, they can pick up the toys on the living room floor in 0.4 seconds or less. But, when you visit them, they will always start out an invite in with the phrase, "Please excuse the mess..." Which leads me to super power #4.
4. Unending humility: A mom knows deep down that her job as a mom is the toughest one she will ever have, and it requires no degree, no experience, and no expertise, yet when you compliment them, they will all act like it's nothing. They are the most humble, yet deserving, creatures on this earth!
3. Kid magnet: All kids will somehow know that you are a mom, and seek you out if they can't find their own mom and have a boo-boo, or are in need of a hug. You become a kid magnet the day you enter into motherhood.
2. The ability to look great all the time: A mom may be run-down, worn out, sleep deprived, have on NO make-up, messy hair, and be sick with the flu, but she still radiates and looks fabulous, somehow. THAT is an amazing feat!
1. And, the number ONE super power a mom has is... (drum roll)... The ability to function on little to no sleep. A mom can cook, clean the house, do laundry, work a job, take care of kids, correct homework, give baths, pick up toys, drive the kids around, grocery shop, run errands, fix broken household appliances, do simple auto repairs, make all the beds in the house, reorganize the pantry, attend kid's school functions and plays, chaperon a school dance, make cookies for a bake sale, keep up with her friends and family, send correspondences, make important phone calls, take the kids to the doctor's office, fight on the phone with collection agencies, and still somehow, she gets out of bed the next day to do it all over again with a smile on her face, just to hear 4 simple words: "I love you, mom."
10. The amazing hug: A mom can cure anything from a bump on the head to a common cold or stomach flu with a simple, warm hug.
9. The 12-armed creature: A mom seems to have 100 different things that she needs to carry in from a trip to the store, and can somehow manage to get it all inside with just one trip!
8. The awesome toy fixer: Mom's all know how to repair a broken toy, because when we buy it, or when a friend or family member gives it to our children, we spend hours reading and memorizing the owner's manuals. We can do anything from changing the batteries to using super glue to fix a broken something they've stepped on.
7. We can cure hunger: Children have bottomless pits for stomachs, and us moms know how to get in the kitchen and whip up a quick cure for their grumbling little tummies! We have become masters of the ten minute meals.
6. Super noses: Mom's can smell strange things and sniff around just the right spots to find that dirty diaper we swore we threw out with the trash, or that left-over casserole in the back of the fridge like no other!
5. Cleaning machines: A mom can somehow keep the kids, the kitchen and the bathroom all clean and ready for company and the uninvited drop-in guests. And, they can pick up the toys on the living room floor in 0.4 seconds or less. But, when you visit them, they will always start out an invite in with the phrase, "Please excuse the mess..." Which leads me to super power #4.
4. Unending humility: A mom knows deep down that her job as a mom is the toughest one she will ever have, and it requires no degree, no experience, and no expertise, yet when you compliment them, they will all act like it's nothing. They are the most humble, yet deserving, creatures on this earth!
3. Kid magnet: All kids will somehow know that you are a mom, and seek you out if they can't find their own mom and have a boo-boo, or are in need of a hug. You become a kid magnet the day you enter into motherhood.
2. The ability to look great all the time: A mom may be run-down, worn out, sleep deprived, have on NO make-up, messy hair, and be sick with the flu, but she still radiates and looks fabulous, somehow. THAT is an amazing feat!
1. And, the number ONE super power a mom has is... (drum roll)... The ability to function on little to no sleep. A mom can cook, clean the house, do laundry, work a job, take care of kids, correct homework, give baths, pick up toys, drive the kids around, grocery shop, run errands, fix broken household appliances, do simple auto repairs, make all the beds in the house, reorganize the pantry, attend kid's school functions and plays, chaperon a school dance, make cookies for a bake sale, keep up with her friends and family, send correspondences, make important phone calls, take the kids to the doctor's office, fight on the phone with collection agencies, and still somehow, she gets out of bed the next day to do it all over again with a smile on her face, just to hear 4 simple words: "I love you, mom."
Friday, December 31, 2010
Let me expose my hypocracy!
I always said that marriage was legal slavery - entrapment - a BS institution that is not taken seriously by anyone anymore... Well, why is it that after I reconnect with some old friends on FB that I find myself looking at their pics... The kids, their vacations, their weddings, and yes, even their husbands... and I find myself feeling like I'm somehow missing out on something.
I want to share that special bond with someone, I want to wear a white (well, OFF white) dress, I want pretty flowers and more than one tier on a cake, TOO! I want, I want, I WANT! lol...
Okay, now that I've thrown my little temper tantrum, let me regroup, collect my thoughts, and breathe! It will be okay. I mean, there IS someone out there for everyone, right? RIGHT?!
What if I don't find him, because I'm not looking for him, because I'm content in the life I have right now - you know, that life of sin? Yeah, that's the one... Me, my kids, and my baby daddy. Under one roof, with separate bedrooms, but we still copulate on occasion... Yeah, that.
So, since I'm so content with the way things are and with how things are going, I'm likely to blow off ANY man. Even the best looking men. I tend to think that if they look good, there's something wrong with him for talking to me. I know, it's crazy and irrational, but my logic is he's either gay, cheating, unemployed (which God knows 2 unemployed folks don't make a good match! lol), a mooch, drunk, a woman beater, OR up to no good... I'm such a skeptic. And if he doesn't look all that good, I immediately think he'd make a good friend but tell him I got a man, when I don't, and also tend to think he's up to no good, too... I mean, ALL men are up to no good, right? Right? :)
I'm rambling. OK, the point of this blog: To expose myself for the hypocrite that I've been for a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time now. I want to find my Mr Right, date, get to know him, fall in love, have him and the kids get along beautifully, and get married and live happily ever after. Will this ever happen? Well, not if I don't learn to let go of what I've got and give up on that pipe dream. Can I do that? It would certainly be a HUGE step out of my comfort zone. I've been stuck in it for over 3 years now, and we all know, that's a long time for me to stick with any one thing - be it a job, a car, a house, or a man. I just don't do stability very well. (At least, I didn't pre-Prozac! lol)
Anyhow, that's all. Just needed to expose myself and move on with my life. Maybe now that I got that off my chest I'll be able to sleep better! :)
I want to share that special bond with someone, I want to wear a white (well, OFF white) dress, I want pretty flowers and more than one tier on a cake, TOO! I want, I want, I WANT! lol...
Okay, now that I've thrown my little temper tantrum, let me regroup, collect my thoughts, and breathe! It will be okay. I mean, there IS someone out there for everyone, right? RIGHT?!
What if I don't find him, because I'm not looking for him, because I'm content in the life I have right now - you know, that life of sin? Yeah, that's the one... Me, my kids, and my baby daddy. Under one roof, with separate bedrooms, but we still copulate on occasion... Yeah, that.
So, since I'm so content with the way things are and with how things are going, I'm likely to blow off ANY man. Even the best looking men. I tend to think that if they look good, there's something wrong with him for talking to me. I know, it's crazy and irrational, but my logic is he's either gay, cheating, unemployed (which God knows 2 unemployed folks don't make a good match! lol), a mooch, drunk, a woman beater, OR up to no good... I'm such a skeptic. And if he doesn't look all that good, I immediately think he'd make a good friend but tell him I got a man, when I don't, and also tend to think he's up to no good, too... I mean, ALL men are up to no good, right? Right? :)
I'm rambling. OK, the point of this blog: To expose myself for the hypocrite that I've been for a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time now. I want to find my Mr Right, date, get to know him, fall in love, have him and the kids get along beautifully, and get married and live happily ever after. Will this ever happen? Well, not if I don't learn to let go of what I've got and give up on that pipe dream. Can I do that? It would certainly be a HUGE step out of my comfort zone. I've been stuck in it for over 3 years now, and we all know, that's a long time for me to stick with any one thing - be it a job, a car, a house, or a man. I just don't do stability very well. (At least, I didn't pre-Prozac! lol)
Anyhow, that's all. Just needed to expose myself and move on with my life. Maybe now that I got that off my chest I'll be able to sleep better! :)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
WARNING: Turn the TV off before falling asleep!
I had the craziest dream, and I think it was all due to an infomercial that was about knives and kitchen gadgets followed by some random screaming preacher man on TV last night!
I was in the lobby of this building where I was listening to a free seminar about knives. I was there to learn about the newest technology in cutlery and buy some for my kitchen, but the people doing the demo kept talking about God and how I had to do right by Him. God and knives... okay! So, anyhow, I was there with this woman from work named Lisa. Yeah, we were both eating it up... The knives, God, the whole nine years... It was riveting. Anyhow, at the end of their presentation, they presented this special cutting board, and in order to get into heaven, you had to buy this cutting board. If you didn't buy it, God would think you didn't love Him, and you wouldn't be saved... It was a "salvation cutting board" for just 5 easy payments of $19.95.
I was about to sign up for mine, when a sign in one of the offices caught my eye. It read, "Keep your praises confined to the lobby, please!" Me and Lisa approached the lady selling the cutting boards and asked her why we couldn't praise God in the doctor's office. She told us that, sadly, not everyone loves God. I opened the door, and yelled out, "Praise God!" Lisa yelled, "Jesus is Lord!" And we were tackled by security and I woke up!
Conclusion? Turn off the TV before falling asleep! lol. I woke up to a loud screaming preacher, but I'll just BET there was a knife infomercial on just before that! :)
I was in the lobby of this building where I was listening to a free seminar about knives. I was there to learn about the newest technology in cutlery and buy some for my kitchen, but the people doing the demo kept talking about God and how I had to do right by Him. God and knives... okay! So, anyhow, I was there with this woman from work named Lisa. Yeah, we were both eating it up... The knives, God, the whole nine years... It was riveting. Anyhow, at the end of their presentation, they presented this special cutting board, and in order to get into heaven, you had to buy this cutting board. If you didn't buy it, God would think you didn't love Him, and you wouldn't be saved... It was a "salvation cutting board" for just 5 easy payments of $19.95.
I was about to sign up for mine, when a sign in one of the offices caught my eye. It read, "Keep your praises confined to the lobby, please!" Me and Lisa approached the lady selling the cutting boards and asked her why we couldn't praise God in the doctor's office. She told us that, sadly, not everyone loves God. I opened the door, and yelled out, "Praise God!" Lisa yelled, "Jesus is Lord!" And we were tackled by security and I woke up!
Conclusion? Turn off the TV before falling asleep! lol. I woke up to a loud screaming preacher, but I'll just BET there was a knife infomercial on just before that! :)
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